A house or a home?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I live. We moved here 15 years ago. We were told it was ours.. Well 16  years down the road  It changed to be temporary…

Well its been a long temporary. My husband and I have been talking a lot about where we would like to live. The beach in So Cal was never a place either of us wanted to be.

It just became easy as we have family here in the city. But we’ve never been “happy” here. For years I thought it was just me. But its not. We prefer being in our RV in the dirt compared to in this house.

It is just that. A house. A place to live. Its not a “home”. A home to me is a place you love, a place where love grows, a place to cherish and take care of.

I have none of those feelings in this rented house. This house feels like a prison to me. Yes I live here. But I have no attachment to this house. I feel no love to it. I almost have bad feelings about it.

I dislike being here. Its to expensive. To many people demanding us to do things for them. Demanding my time. I long to finally GROW UP and break the parental chains so to say. And live my life! The life I have with my husband and children. I long to not have to explain myself to my mother and mother in law. Tell them moment by moment what I’m up to. To push them back to where they should be instead of in our business.

I want to get away from the coast. To a place I want to live. A place where my child won’t have to be on all the asthma meds he’s on to live here at the wet coast.

You get that child to the mountains, desert and he doesn’t need his meds!

I want to look out the window and see a view. Not a fence and my neighbors house. I want to hear silence. Not my neighbors 5 dogs barking.

I long to live a place with seasons. Spring flowers, rain, summer heat, falling leaves in the fall,  heck maybe even a white Christmas. Not 359 days of sunlight. And 9″ of rain a year if we’re really lucky.

I want to see wildlife other than possums, rats, mice, birds.

But I feel like we will never escape this blasted place. The Cost of living here is so high that you never really get ahead.

I want to be in a place where class sizes aren’t in the 40’s, were my kids aren’t a number but a child. Where my kids are accepted for who they are. Not what the own.

A place where my kids may actually have a Caucasian friend. I know that doesn’t sound right. And I apologise. I don’t mean it badly. But seriously my kids don’t have even 1 Caucasian friend!

I want a place where my kids go outside and play and explore. Not to a friends house to play video games.

I didn’t grow up here. I didn’t grow up like my kids. I want for my kids what I had. I want a safe, non materialistic environment in a HOME built of love for my children. For my husband and I. I want to finally find the peace we long.

And with that has come soul searching. And searching to find where we do want to be. 2013 will be spent making a decision where we want to be. 2014 will be the best year! That is when we will make our changes.

These are exciting times. I will be including our searching for a place to call HOME in my blog as our journey unfolds. I don’t know where this journey will lead us. But I’m looking forward to the journey to where we will find our HOME. Please follow us along.

Sorry this was so long and all over the place. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by…


2 thoughts on “A house or a home?

  1. The home you describe , the one you really want, sounds so lovely. It’s easy to see by your passion about this that it will happen. I’m glad you will be sharing this adventure online. 😀

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