Snap! The sound of me losing my cool

My morning started with me coming out of my bedroom to hear my 14 and 16 year olds bickering. I said stop! They took a breath and started back up.

I shook my head and off to kitchen I went to get coffee. Ahhh now maybe I can face my day without anxiety or stress. When I start my day with my boys acting like fools it ruins my whole day.

I walk into family room with my coffee and sit in the recliner. Silence is all I hear. The boys have stopped. Its a miracle! Or I’ve gone deaf. I look at each of them while I take a sip of coffee. My youngest snuggling with Waffles our dog. My oldest playing with his tablet. Phrew…

I have a alarm set in my cell phone that tells kids time to get in car. With my oldest, my #aspie everything has to be transitioned. Alarm goes off 3 minutes early so we are not late. He doesn’t know that part. He hears alarm. Goes to bathroom, gets backpack, plugs in tablet. Then gets in car. Youngest hears alarm and gets in car! No transition needed.

We have made it to car! Then it begins. My oldest. My #aspie starts up telling me my business. See I said I’ve had strange phone numbers calling my phone middle of the night and during work. You call the numbers back it tells you their mail box is full. Well I said I blocked the three numbers thinking they were hacking my phone or something. They call over and over.

When all of a sudden from the back seat comes things like that dosent happen. They can’t hack your phone. I said really?! Then how did someone make a 3 hour phone call from your grandmothers cell?? He said she had to have done it. It can’t happen. I said verizon rep said her phone was hacked! Blah blah blah he continues…

On and on he went. UNTIL!!  I pulled over. That’s right I pulled over. I blew a gasket. I informed him he’s 16. He doesn’t know it all. And that his know it all attitude and basically telling people they don’t know what their talking about is NOT BECOMING of him. Makes him look like a arrogant know it all! And people don’t like people like that. They call people like that jerks.

He has been telling my mother and I our business with more and more rudeness the last month. Last night he pulled that crap on my husband. That didn’t go over well.

I informed him this morning from here on out you open your mouth to tell me the WAY IT REALLY IS as he says then you will be in your bedroom for the day.

Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Sorry for the rant. I do feel better now though 🙂

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When we can’t protect our children

It has been proven in the last week there are times when try as we can some things are out of our control. We try and protect our children. We’d do anything for our kids, or another’s child. That was proven last Friday by the staff at Sandy Hook.

Whether its your child or a child of another its inborn in us to protect them. Especially us women. I work at a school. I and my 3 co-workers watch 100+ beautiful pre-k and kinder children for lunch.

Well Monday when I returned to work I looked at each of them, each and every one of their beautiful, innocent faces as I gave them a hug and I wondered how could someone do something so evil. How could someone go into a school, a safe zone and do something like Adam Lanza did?

And while I was trying to process that. There is mention of him being autistic! Oh let’s add salt to the wound.

My son is autistic, he has Aspergers. He came home from school saying did you hear about the shooting? I said yes son. He said their going to put all people like me in jail, or make it so they test pregnant women and just abort us.

That thinking broke my heart. To see my sons spirit broken. My angel. My gift from God. To think all that through at 16 years old. Just imagine how he must have felt. How hard it was for him to process that.

Tuesday morning started with a pace message from the H.S. principal. A call about a NOT viable threat against my oldest sons school. My aspie.

Well by the time he got home from school he told me about the threat. And that he heard a student got arrested for terrorism. That’s the 3rd I know of now for the three different threats his school has had.

Well my son got to the point he wasn’t sleeping well, wasn’t eating well. Yes he was stressed. My aspie was stressed.

I had to make a decision. A tough one. Do I keep him home Friday and away from all the threats for that day? Give into him? Possibly start a “I don’t want to go to school trend”? Or do I make him go?

After much thought. I decided to talk to him. And let him know it is for ONE DAY. ONE DAY ONLY! He has a tendency of sucking me for more if I give in. Well he said I understand mom, its just for Friday.

Well, with that he emailed his essay that was due Friday to his teacher and my husband attached a note saying my son would not be at school Friday for personal reasons. The teacher responded saying thank you for sending essay and she was glad we were keeping him home. That he has been very stressed.

Well that night not only did he eat his whole dinner! He slept all night! Woke up rested and hungry for breakfast. And he thanked me for not making him go.

Police were at his school Friday all day, students and their backpacks were searched, all students had to show school ID. And nothing bad happened thank God. But I still feel right in my decision of keeping my child home.

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